Living Hell
by boysinabooth
Summary: Sephiroth is given a second chance to redeem himself of all his wrongdoings. The only thing standing between him and eternal salvation? A 5'9', romance novel reading, forgetful, bombarding, red-head named Alette. Sephiroth
1. Judgment

_Disclaimer - I do not own FFVII, so please do not sue me._

**A/N: I previously wrote this story on a different account, but it accidentally was deleted (imagine how upset I was!). So, I have decided to rewrite it on this account, trying to remember all the funny things it had in it. Please tell me what you think!

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**CHAPTER 1: JUDGEMENT

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Sephiroth could not believe it. That hot-headed kid Cloud had defeated him! Now he was awaiting his sentence as to where he would be spending his after-life. As much as he was hoping to go to Heaven, he had a sinking feeling that his eternity was to be spent either in Purgatory or Hell, he was hoping for the former. However, his prayer was interrupted by the sound of something falling. Opening his eyes, he saw two bumbling men in white clothes with a dim outline of gray wings on their backs. He cleared his throat quietly, in some attempt to catch their attention, but it did no good.

"Eh, Trevor, we've got quite a few people dying to get their sentence. Heh, heh, get it? Dying? Oh man, sometimes I kill myself with all these jokes!" the blonde-haired man said, opening a large book that was sitting on a pearly pedestal. "Phew, so where do we start?"

"Well Trenton, we may want to start with this scary looking guy who looks pretty impatient with us..." the other man, obviously Trevor, replied with fear burning in his eyes.

"That might be a good idea, Trevor!" he exclaimed as he scrambled through the pages of the immense book. "Okay, okay, so who is this guy?"

"Is it that feudal era demon Sesshomaru that's all evil and 'grr' and stuff?"

"No, no, no! It's that guy who was a character in that enchanted book, Sanosuke!"

"I'm Sephiroth." the silver haired man stated dryly. He had a sinking feeling he was going to be here for a while. Observing the duo of angels, he waited as they sifted through the large book.

"Sephiroth, eh?" Trevor asked. He practically ripped through the pages to find his name. Yet, when the angel finally did, he curtly elbowed his sidekick in the stomach. "Do you know who this guy is?!"

"Actually no, Trevor, that's _why _you're looking him up in The Book to tell me who he is." Trenton stated, throwing his hands up in the air. He quickly pushed his nose in The Book, trying to find out who this Sephiroth character was. "Hmm, let's see here...warping the minds of innocent people, destroying a village or two, killing an Ancient...gee Sephiroth, your track record is not looking all too good from my point of view."

"Well, I must agree with you, Trenton. To be blunt, you're royally screwed Sephiroth. You have no way out of this one unless the boss has given you some type of reprieve that we don't know about." the other angel responded. Tripping over his robes, he reached for a red stamp that read 'HELL' in capital letters. He was inches away from committing the sentence, but he was halted by a hand grabbing his arm.

"Trevor, you cannot carry out this sentence, Sephiroth has received a different one," the dark haired female angel stated. Taking a glance at the silver haired man, she opened her mouth to finish her statement. "You have been given a second chance to redeem yourself. You will be sentenced to live on Earth."

"What's the catch?" Sephiroth asked. He had a sinking feeling that something was not right with this situation. He was also beginning to think Hell wasn't that bad of a sentence.

"You must endure the presence of a human being for an entire year. This means, you are not allowed to hurt them in anyway. This includes physically, mentally, and verbally. If you can survive this, you will earn a spot in Heaven. Yet, if you fail, you will immediately be sent to Hell." the female angel said. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she gave Sephiroth a cocky grin. "Are you going to accept this offer, or would you rather go straight to Hell for all your wrong deeds?"

"Tch," Sephiroth stated. "How bad can this offer be? I accept going to live on Earth."

"Don't believe it to be so easy, Sephiroth." she spoke. Within an instant, she was gone. Sephiroth blinked a few times, then turned his head to face the two angels who had almost sentenced him to a lifetime of Hell with no reprieve.

"So now what do I do?" he asked, desperately trying not to roll his eyes as they scattered across the pearly pedestal.

"Well, you have to wait for the approval from the boss. Just because an angel comes here out of nowhere granting permissions, does not mean it has been approved of by the boss. Trust us, we have had a few bad run-ins with some fellows, remember that one a few years ago Trevor? What was his name, again?" Trenton asked. The other angel merely shrugged his shoulders in response. "Well, the name's not important...anyway, this fellow apparently tried to convince us that he was really meant to go to Heaven, telling us all his good doings on-"

"Trenton and Trevor," a booming voice spoke from behind a set of clouds. "This sentence Marrianne speaks of is true, Sephiroth has been given a reprieve from Hell. I believe he will find it to be an interesting sentence once he arrives there. Good luck, Sephiroth."

Without warning, the silver-haired man felt his feet leave the ground. He was spinning and spiraling down toward the Earth, and he was landing in the heart of Boston, Massachusetts.


	2. Introduction

_Disclaimer - I don't own FFVII, so please don't sue me. However! I do own my OC so don't steal her and her amazing personality thanks._

**A/N: Woo! Thanks for the reviews! I wasn't expecting to get any honestly because the first chapter was kind of silly. Hope that this chapter gets some positive reviews as well. Tell me what you think guys!

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**CHAPTER 2: INTRODUCTION

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Alette woke up groggily in her one bedroom apartment. It had been a long night and she was not too surprised to see that her old alarm clock read ten past noon. The young woman was known to sleep in on the weekends, but this was a tad bit extreme...even for her. With a yawn, she ran her fingers through her thick red hair and forced herself out of bed.

She normally would go to the bathroom and brush her teeth before doing anything, but this morning, something felt different. She walked passed her 3 foot poster of Cloud from Final Fantasy VII and cautiously poked her head out of the bedroom. Seeing that the coast was clear, she took a step out and sighed heavily.

'This is going to be another long and lonely day.' she thought as she headed straight for the kitchen. 'Maybe my mom will call me, that will be a good waste of an hour.'

Alette quietly pulled out a box of Cherrios and poured a nice amount into a huge bowl. She sat down on her recliner and began to eat the cereal without any milk. It was safe to say that she was just a little different from the normal crowd. Reaching for the remote, she hummed to herself.

'Hmmm...I wonder what is on TV...' she aimlessly thought. She flicked the television on with the remote and saw that she left her DVD player on last night. Advent Children was paused on a scene with Cloud fighting the villainous Sephiroth. 'Wow, he is so dreamy.'

Her ears picked up a noise coming from the bathroom, distracting her from her dream world of Cloud. She cocked her head to the right and tried to see if the bathroom door was opened, but it wasn't. Alette took a gulp and pushed herself off the chair. Fear washed over her as she approached the bathroom door. Who or what could be in there?

"Hello?" she asked, her green eyes glowing violently. She put her hand on the knob and tried to turn it, but it was locked. Quirking an eyebrow, she tried to jiggle it once more. "Who is in there?"

No response.

"Come out! Whoever you are!" Alette ran away from the door and tried to find something to defend herself with, in the end she found an old frying pan. She figured it would suffice for the task at hand. "I demand that you open my bathroom door right now!!"

No response.

"I really have to go to the bathroom!" she threatened.

She heard the door unlock, and felt somewhat relieved, but tenser because she realized that someone could possibly be in there. Clutching the frying pan for dear life, she waited anxiously for the door to open. As it did, a few strands of silver hair were revealed.

"W-who are you?" she asked with fear on her tone. "And why are you in my bathroom?"

She pulled the door opened completely and gasped at who she saw. Standing before her, in her bathroom, was none other than Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII. Her mouth was agape and she dropped the fry pan on her foot.

"Oww!" she yelped. Alette began to jump around on one foot. She suddenly stopped, when she remembered that Sephiroth, a very strong and evil villain, was in her home. "Please, please don't kill me."

"You must be the girl." Sephiroth stated. He seemed rather irate about the encounter. He brushed his hair over his shoulders before opening his mouth to speak once more. "Oh, and by the way, your toilet is clogged up."

"You're telling me that you came to my house just to take a crap?" she asked confused. Her eyes widened, shock was apparent on her young features. "I cannot believe this, I actually had plans today, I was actually going to try to get out of my apartment and do something! But, no I have to have Sephiroth - one winged angel of crap - appear out of nowhere in my bathroom and clog the delicate pipes that run through this apartment."

Sephiroth blinked.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." she said with a feeble smile. "Just...don't hurt me."

"I can't, even if I wanted to." he replied. Sephiroth placed a hand on his elusive sword. "I have my masamune for no reason it seems if I cannot kill someone who seems so..." he glanced down at her, trying to think of a word. "miniscule."

"Uh...so, why are you here?" the young woman inquired. She was utterly confused as to what the Final Fantasy VII villain was doing in her small Boston apartment.

"I have been given me a chance to redeem myself. But, in order to do that, I must tolerate your presense for a year." he replied. "It seems that you already know me, though I do not know how, but allow me to properly introduce myself."

He cleared his throat.

"I am Sephiroth. I am immortal, and nothing can surpass me. Do not dare defy me, or you will suffer my rath. I am capable of taking down any military force and I have the ability to clone myself. No matter what any petty person may say, I am an angel, and I will rule the world."

"Uh..." Alette seemed rather shocked at his harsh introduction. "I'm Alette! Sometimes I forget to bathe."

Silence.

"Anyway...let me show you around my apartment." she mumbled.


	3. In The Stars

Disclaimer - I do not own FFVII but I do own the awesome character Alette, so don't steal her from me or you will suffer.

**A/N: Wow. Wasn't expecting that many reviews. Thanks for all the support! Sorry I haven't updated. I have like five or six chapters already written, so I'll try to update as often as possible. Hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

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CHAPTER 3: IN THE STARS

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"Well, I'm sure that you already know where the bathroom is, considering that...well...you know, my toilet is currently clogged up." Alette said. She opened the door to the bathroom nonetheless and held her nose quickly. Glaring at the silver-haired man, she opened her mouth and spoke in a nasally voice, "Did I mention that I have a fan in here? It's okay to turn it on."

Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders in reply. He had already been in her presence for less than fifteen minutes and was already becoming slightly agitated with her. Add the fact that he really did not care what Alette had to say, you could tell that the video game character was eager to get through this year without too many conversations between her.

"Soooo." Alette said as they entered the living room. To say the least, it was rather messy. There were a few old pizza boxes in the floor and something seemed to move inside of them. Aside from that, the furniture looked worn in, a comfortable love-seat and a recliner. "This is my living room. You will find me here three-fourths of the time. You see that?" The young woman pointed to a rather old - and original - Play-Station.

"What about it?" he asked, trying to sound somewhat interested in what she had to say. Obviously, he wasn't.

"My brain wastes away in front of it." she nodded. Sephiroth's eyes glazed over, and Alette felt as if she had to say something to fill in the blank conversations between them. "Are you hungry? If you are then I can make you some buttered toast."

Sephiroth stopped in his path, clearly Alette had said something that perturbed him.

"What? Do you not like buttered toast?"

"I'm allergic to butter."

"Oh..." Alette said, she held back a laugh. "A little lactose intolerant I see."

"No. I'm allergic."

"Okay...whatever you say." She coughed something that sounded like, 'gassy' before moving onto her bedroom. "This is my lovely bedroom. As you can see, I have decorated the walls with various posters. I hope you enjoy them."

"Yuck." he said. The entirety of the walls seemed to have the familiar face of a blonde-haired man that Sephiroth was acquainted with. Spitting at a poster, he opened his mouth and disdainfully said, "Cloud."

"How can you say that about him?" Alette exclaimed, wiping the little spit that Sephiroth had sprayed on a poster of Cloud's face. "He's just so dreamy, and he was a victim to Sephiroth- oh, I mean your - hands! The poor thing, he just needs someone to...comfort him."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and sighed. Really? Of all the people to get stuck with, he got one that was in love with his arch-foe.

"Hey! No dissing Cloud in my apartment. Got it?" Alette said and shot him a glare. "I know that you may be Sephiroth, the crazy maniac who tried to kill sweet, precious, innocent, loving, dreamy, sexy-"

"I get the point."

"Cloud. But, you will have to come to terms with the fact that I absolutely worship his character."

"Wait." the silver haired man looked at one of the posters. "How do you know who he is?"

"I've only played Final Fantasy Seven like a hundred times. Come on Sephiroth." She rolled her green eyes in reply and motioned for him to follow her out of the bedroom.

"I do not understand." he said. "So, have you met Cloud? Do you truly have any idea how much of an imbecile he is?"

"Don't call him that!" Alette shouted in his ears. Sephiroth twitched at the noise. "You don't know him like I do. The countless times I have played with him."

"Uh..." Sephiroth's face turned a slight red color. "What do you mean by play?"

"On the video game!"

Silence.

"What did you think I meant?"

Silence.

"Oh my gosh! Sephiroth, you're a perv!"

He coughed. "I resent that."

She lead him back into the living room and she found a seat on her worn in recliner. With a sigh, she turned the television on, and Advent Children was still paused on the same scene that it was earlier. She smiled at it before turning the television to regular cable.

"Is this all you do, just sit around and watch this box?" the silver haired man asked rolling his eyes.

"No!" she retorted. "I do other things."

"Of what sort?"

"I read high class literature." she said. High class literature translated into smutty romance novels. She stuck her nose in the air, trying to look snooty. "I bet you could not even understand it."

"Whatever."

Alette scratched her head and an endless amount of dandruff fell off. When was the last time she bathed? Making sure Sephiroth did not see her display of immodesty, she casually scratched her head once more, receiving the same results.

"What else do you do?" he asked, catching her off guard. Alette shifted herself in the recliner and felt like she was being put on the spot. This wasn't very fair, she knew everything about him, so she didn't have questions. Yet, here he was, casually questioning her! She cleared her throat before thinking of something to say.

"I'm really into the whole astrology scene, tarot cards, and I'm great at palm reading." she said casually. "So, when's your birthday? I'll be able to tell you your sign."

"December fifth." he stated dryly. His lack of interest was very apparent.

"Ahhh, I see that you are a Capricorn. I'm very attracted to those you know, being a Leo and all."

"I'm a Sagittarius."

"Oh...right. Right. I was just testing you...that's all."

'This is going to be worse than I thought.' Sephiroth thought to himself. He hit himself in the head in frustration. 'Why was I even given a second chance if I had to put up with such a ridiculous human being?'


	4. Curiosity Killed the Cat, Not Sephiroth

_Disclaimer - I don't own FFVII, so please don't sue me. However! I do own my OC so don't steal her and her amazing personality thanks._

**A/N: Oi! I feel guilty! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I hope it was worth it. I'll try updating sooner! Thank you for all the positive reviews!**

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**CHAPTER 4  
CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, NOT SEPHIROTH**

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By seven o'clock that night, the television was still on and Alette had fallen asleep in the recliner watching 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'

The only noise in the living room was the English language being spoken on TV. Sephiroth was watching it intently.

The young girl shifted in her sleep and found herself awake in an uncomfortable position. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and glanced around the room. When her eyes landed on the silver-haired man, she shrugged her shoulders and pushed off the recliner.

"I'm going to be in bed. G'night." she mumbled while scratching her head. As she passed Sephiroth, she patted him on the back. "Don't stay up too late, I have a busy day all planned out for us tomorrow."

Sephiroth did not even flinch from the television.

Alette made her way into the bedroom, pulled the covers down, and got comfortable in her twin bed. She snuggled the blankets close to her before drifting off into a comfortable sleep.

About two hours after the fire haired girl went to sleep, Sephiroth found himself a little groggy. He got up off the couch and wandered aimlessly around the apartment in some attempt to find a place to sleep. He walked into Alette's room and saw that she was out like a light bulb. In lieu of trying to wake her up to find a place to sleep, he found himself face to face with the bathroom.

He took a glance at the bathtub.

"This does not look too uncomfortable." he murmured. He pushed back the shower curtain and stepped into the tub. He forced his rather long body to fit into the tub and he felt his armor scratch up against it. His feet were on the water knobs and his head was halfway out the tub. With his left foot accidentally turning on the water, he fell asleep rather discombobulated.

By morning time, the young woman awoke with a fresh start. She stretched herself out of the comfortable bed and made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She turned on the faucet and ran her toothbrush under; just as she did, she heard a grunt.

'What the-?' she thought quizzically. She glanced around and did not see anything, so she continued to brush her teeth. The next thing she heard was the sound of...pots and pans? 'It's coming from the bathtub.' she though to herself.

She pulled open the shower curtain and saw Sephiroth lying in a rather uncomfortable state. She quirked her head to the left.

"Sephir-"

Clankity Clank Clank Clank!

"oth."

"WHAT!" he exclaimed. He was trying to move his arms around but was failing miserably. "Why can't I move my arms?"

"I think your armor is a bit rusted."

"WHAT?!" he yelled once again. "How did that happen?"

"You must've left the faucet on last night." She said. She leaned over and turned the water off. "Why did you sleep in your armor anyway?"

"It's better than sleeping in that wretched thing you have on!" He glanced at Alette's pajamas. It was a long looking dress with blue and yellow flowers. "It makes me want to vomit!"

"Just so you know this is a moo-moo!"

"What the-"

"It's the greatest invention known to mankind!" she crossed her arms defiantly. "Not like you would know. You don't even have anything proper to wear. Ugh."

"Why did you wake me anyway?" he asked dryly.

"Well, just so you know, I have to go to town...and I'm trusting that you can be safe in my apartment by yourself." Alette said. "There are a few things I need to get, and I should be back in an hour."

"Are you wearing that thing into town?"

"NO!" she exclaimed. "I plan on changing my clothes, sheesh."

Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders and watched in awe as Alette brushed her teeth and picked at her face in the mirror. Thankfully, she left to her bedroom and Sephiroth was allowed a few moments in the bathroom alone.

He struggled out of the bathtub and stretched his muscles to the best of his ability. He heard the red headed girl fumbling in her bedroom and then he heard a door slam shut.

By the time he made his way out of the bathroom, Alette was no longer in sight. He glanced around, and after going through the entire house, made a fair assumption that she was gone. He went back into the Cloud infested room and saw that her 'moo-moo' was lying on the bed.

'That looks more comfortable than this armor I'm wearing...' he thought deviously. He casually shut the bedroom door and picked up the thin piece of cloth.

When he opened the door, he was clad in the moo-moo. He shrugged his shoulders comfortably and made is way into the living room. He sat down on the recliner and felt himself sink into it.

'Goodness, this will kill me!' he thought. He leaned over to pick up the remote and saw a little sticky note attached to it. It read:

"SEPHIROTH! I went to town, you can do whatever you want, just don't answer the telephone! Alette."

He rolled his eyes and flicked on the TV. He went through all of the channels and saw that there was nothing on. With a sigh, he pushed himself out of the chair, walked up to the TV, and opened the entertainment center below it.

"Woah." he whispered aloud. He saw video cassettes and DVDs all piled in a disorderly manner. He picked up a pile of DVDs and read the titles, one said, "Slim in Six", another, "Six Second Abs" "Buns of Steel", and "Sweating with the Oldies." He quirked is eyebrow at the last one.

He opened the case to it and saw a shiny disc. He pulled it out with great effort and eyed it strangely.

'I wonder how I can watch this. I think I put it in that square shiny thing.' he thought. He glanced at the DVD player and began to press all the buttons until a black screen said, "WELCOME" in bright blue letters. The player opened and he put the disc in -surprisingly- correct.

When it finally loaded a small scrawny man with a fuzz ball of hair came on the screen. Sephiroth blinked in surprise to see that the man had on some type of jumpsuit. After a second of silence, the man finally introduced himself,

"HI! I'm Richard Simmons!" he said. "And today we're going to be sweating with the oldies. Now let's start out with a warm up!"

The stick of a man began to stretch his arms out and jog in place. Sephiroth became quite perplexed by these actions and he watched the TV screen more intently.

'Why does Alette have this kind of stuff?' he asked as he turned away from the TV. He rolled his eyes and left the room to find something else to amuse himself with.

He found himself back in her room. He sat down on the bed and examined her nightstand. There were a few books lying on it. He picked one up that had a title, "Dark Destiny." and opened it to a random page and began to read.

"Her lips skimmed his throat. Her tongue swirled over his pulse. Her bare buttocks were nestled in his lap and she could feel there the strong reaction of his body to that small, erotic movement of her tongue. He hardened. Thickened. Pulsed with need. She savored the feeling, wanted to remember it forever."

He shut the book abruptly. 'Why the heck is this girl reading such vulgar writing like this?' he was about to sit the book back down but heard a loud high-pitched noise.

"Where is that coming from?" he asked aloud. He walked into the living room and he approached where the noise was coming from. It was the telephone. He picked up the receiver and said, "What is this wretched thing?"

"Alette! Is that you?!" a very nasally voice asked. "HELLO!!!"

"That noise is so repulsive!"

"Ohh...this isn't Alette..." the person said. "It sounds like a boyyyy friend."

Before Sephiroth could reply the front door opened and Alette walked in. She blinked in surprise to see Sephiroth standing there with the telephone in one hand, a romance novel in the other, wearing her moo-moo and seeing Richard Simmons' work out video in the background.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" she asked. "Get your hands off of that!" she snatched the book out of his hands. "And why did you answer the phone? Gah. Give me that."

"Alette! Honey! Where were you?" the voice asked.

"Mom, I'll call you back, I'm kind of busy right now."

"But I-"

Click.

"Well......" she said glancing at him. "I bought you a futon."

"A what?" he asked quizzically.

"A futon. You sleep on it. I got it so you won't have to sleep in the bathtub again." she said kindly. "But, you're gonna have to help me bring it upstairs to the apartment."

"Uh - okay."

"But, you might wanna get out of my moo-moo..." she murmured. "Why are you wearing it in the first place?"

"I needed something comfortable to wear."

"Right. Well. Let's go."


	5. A Cloudy Day

_Disclaimer - Um, so I'm pretty sure I don't own FFVII because if I did why would I be writing Alette into the story? I would have made her originally ^_^_

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Didn't have too many reviews, but hopefully the story will be more interesting!**

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**CHAPTER 5: A CLOUDY DAY**

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Sephiroth pulled the large box containing the futon in it inside the apartment. He seemed rather out of breath, and then he glanced at Alette to see that she was carrying five measly bags of things.

"Wow, Sephiroth! Thanks a bunch for getting that in. It took five of the workers at the store to get it in the car." she said. She sat down on her recliner and tossed the bags in the floor, acting as if she were the one who had carried the futon in by herself. "Oh! I almost forgot, while I was in town I got you a few things."

"Excuse me?" he asked raising an eyebrow. He was not too sure if he wanted something that Alette was offering him.

"Come here, and I'll show you." she said, picking up a bag.

Sephiroth warily approached the girl.

"Okay...let's see here.." she pulled out a toothbrush. "This is for you, because your breath stinks really bad." As she rummaged again in the bag, Sephiroth put his hand up to his mouth and breathed. Maybe his breath stunk a bit. "I also got you shampoo and conditioner. I figured Herbal Essance was your type."

"Thanks?"

"I also bought you some clothes. You look terribly uncomfortable in the ones that you are wearing." she said and handed him the other four bags. "Go ahead, enjoy!"

He cautiously went through one of the bags, it was full of pants and jeans. He held them up to his waist, and surprisingly, looked as though they would fit him. He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at another bag. He picked up a black shirt, and faced the front toward Alette unknowingly.

"Ah, I see you like my style." he said. "A plain black shirt."

"Uh, actually, you're looking at the back Sephiroth." she said sheeply. "Oh, and I didn't know what size shirt you wore, so I just got you medium, I hope they fit."

Sephiroth turned the shirt around and to his dismay, saw a picture of Cloud. He groaned in disapproval of the shirt and threw it on the couch before picking out the other shirts in the bag. Each shirt had Cloud on it in some way, shape, or form. He decided to put on the only t-shirt that had his face on it...it had Cloud's face too.

"This thing is skin tight!" he said inhaling. He glanced down and saw his six pack clearly through his shirt. "I am highly uncomfortable!"

"I knew I should have went with the large..." she murmured loud enough for him to hear.

"What was that?" he barked back.

"Sooo. Let's get this futon put together!" She squealed in excitement as a diversion from the subject. She ripped at the box and when she finally got everything out, she was face to face with many different parts that she knew nothing about. "Here Sephiroth, the directions."

"Pfft." he remarked. "I don't need directions."

Sephiroth and Alette spent hours trying to piece the futon together. They pulled and pushed parts into place and crossed their fingers when the futon was finally put together in a rather awkward manner.

"Well. It looks secure. You should go ahead and try it out!" she exclaimed.

Sephiroth plopped on the futon exasperated. He heard a small cracking noise and instantly he was sprawled on the floor. His left eye twitched involuntarily and he gave Alette a sideways glance.

"Uhhh...at least we tried?" she said as more of a question. "Well, geeze look at the time...it's bed time! Night Sephiroth!"

Sepiroth was left on his own to figure out how to sleep in the futon that night.

The next day, Alette woke up with a start. She ran into the bathroom furiously, today she had something brilliant planned. She reached in the cabinet to get her toothbrush, and her index finger barely brushed it before...

Plop!

She glanced lazily down into the toilet and blushingly looked away. Whistling inconspicuously, she reached up and grabbed Sephiroth's shiny new toothbrush.

'He'll never know if I used it.' she thought to herself and brushed her teeth vigorously. She walked into the living room and saw that Sephiroth was still sleeping. Casually, she bumped the futon, causing it to shake.

"What's going on?" the silver haired man asked angrily. He pushed himself up off the futon and glared up at the young vibrant red-head. "Why are you looking at me that way?"

"I'm going to town again. There's something that I got yesterday, but couldn't take home." she said as she watched Sephiroth go in the bathroom. "So, you know, just do whatever you want in the apartment."

Sephiroth glanced down at his toothbrush and saw a long red hair wedged in it. He grimaced at the sight and rinsed it off.

"Alette!" he hollered. "Did you use my toothbrush?"

"Maybe...why?" she innocently asked.

"There is a bright red hair it it." he stated dryly.

"Oh...right...sorry about that." she snickered.

Sephiroth came back into the living room and gave Alette a hard face.

"Why don't you have a bowl of cereal? That always cheers me up in the morning." she asked weakly.

Sephiroth stormed into the kitchen and did just as the young woman suggested. He pulled a bowl from the cabinet and pulled a box of Cap'n Crunch out of the same cabinet. He ripped the refigerator door open and got the milk out and poured it over the cereal. He accidentally spilled a little on the floor, but did not take any notice to it.

"See Sephiroth, you look better already." the firey haired girl said with a cheeky smile. Sephiroth forced a smile and took a step forward and all Alette saw was his cereal flying in the air and his body fall to the floor. The only way she could react was to laugh.

"Hahaha, Sephiroth!" she held her stomach tight. She fell onto the futon for some support. "Oh my goodness! I can't believe you...fell...hahaha." Sephiroth was helping himself back onto his feet. "Oh dear God! I'm gonna pee all over myself! Hahaha."

"Very funny." he said and growled. His face was covered with milk and so were his clothes.

"Uh-oh." she said as he finally made his way into the living room. "I kind of peed on your futon."

"What?"

"Yeah. Definitely." she said and moved around uncomfortably on the futon. "Well, at least it didn't drip down my leg."

"You're kidding...right?"

"I forgot to take my bladder control pill this morning..."

"That's disgusting."

"Well, I'd better change my underwear and get some fresh clothes on..." she trailed off. She pushed herself off the futon and heard a squishing kind of noise.

Sephiroth's left eye twitched involuntarily once again.

Alette finally made her way out of the bedroom and she raced out the door before Sephiroth could stop her. He groaned angrily, but knew it was best to just take deep breaths instead of screaming at the top of his lungs.


	6. The Clouds Are Still Out

_Disclaimer - I do not own Final Fantasy VII or the song & anime that are mentioned in this chapter...thanks!_

**A/N: Um, wow. Really sorry that I haven't updated this story. I have this chapter and another one just hanging out in my saved filed of my stories. Sorry everyone! Also, doubt there are any Suite Life of Zack & Cody/on Deck fans who are checking in on this chapter update, but I'm really super sorry I haven't updated High Tides. I have good intentions, but I have had some medical setbacks and am trying to go back to college. So, expect this story to be updated in two weeks at the latest if you're reading. It's good, I promise, and I want to continue writing it. I even laughed at my humor a few years ago. I hope that you all enjoy this story. Please, please, please read and REVIEW! It keeps me motivated and I'll update quicker! Promise! If I have five reviews by tomorrow, chapter 7 will be posted on Sunday. PROMISE!**

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**CHAPTER 6: THE CLOUDS ARE STILL OUT**

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Sephiroth angrily went into the bathroom to find a washrag to attempt to clean off the futon. He muttered something that sounded like, "Alette's an idiot." under his breath as he came back into the living room. He cleaned it to the best of his ability, and surprisingly got most of the stench out of the futon. With a smile, he sat down in Alette's man-eating chair.

The silence became unnerving and he shifted uncomfortably in the chair. He glanced over at the remote and he turned the TV on.

Some show with spiky blonde-haired people came on and they were talking about someone named, "Cell." Sephiroth had a slight interest in it, and turned the volume up louder so he could hear more on what they were talking about.

Without warning, the telephone rang. It caused Sephiroth to jump in his chair and yelp slightly. He was about to push himself out of the chair, until he remembered his last encounter with answering the phone. So, he waited for the phone to cease ringing, then he heard Alette's voice coming from nowhere,

"HI! This is Alette! Um, I'm not home, so leave me a message. And Mom, for the hundredth time, I don't need a boyfriend!"

Sephiroth quirked his eyebrow, before hearing another familiar voice, it was her mother.

"Alette honey! I was just calling to remind you not to forget about tonight." she began. "Please, look decent, and don't forget to bathe!"

The silver-haired man tried not to laugh, and instead he focused his attention back to the television show. To his dismay, the show was ending, and it announced, "Next time on DragonBall Z..."

He sighed and flipped through the channels to try to find something to amuse himself with. There was nothing that caught his interest however, and he turned the TV off.

It seemed as though Alette had been gone for a very long time, but then again, one second without her in the room felt like an hour to Sephiroth. He tried not to think about it, and pushed himself out of the chair and dragged his feet into the kitchen to find something to eat.

He rummaged through her pantry and found Fritos. Then in hopes of finding dip, he moved onto the refrigerator, and he luckily found some bean dip. With a smile, he sat back down on the recliner and happily ate the food.

When he was halfway through the bag of chips, the front door burst open and Alette stood there with a broad smile. Sephiroth was suspicious, and stared blankly in response. There was a medium sized box in her left hand that had holes in it. Sephiroth thought it looked rather tacky, and tried to keep his eyes off of it. Yet, it was that box that gave him great suspicion.

"I got us something." she said with the smile still on her face.

"..."

"Well, since we're going to be living together for a while..." she trailed off. "I figured that we should have something that we can call ours."

"What?" he asked, with a hint of fear under his tone.

"A son."

"What?" he exclaimed. "I am not having anything by you!"

"Not like that silly goose!" she said and giggled.

"Goose? Where is this goose you are talking about?" he scratched his head in confusion and glanced around the room. "So that's what is in the box! It's a goose!"

"No." she said, rolling her eyes.

"Then what is it?"

"It's a kitten!" she said and opened the box.

What was in the box was a big fluffy white kitten that had a misshapen eye and a permanent bald spot on its back. It looked up at the fire haired girl and meowed sickly.

"Isn't he so cute!" she squealed. She picked up the fuzz ball and hugged it in her arms. "He was all alone in one of the crates at the animal shelter. They told me that he was used in one of those laboratories where they test animals. I just felt so bad for him. I asked if I could hold him, and they let me. Then, they told me that he couldn't see out of his left eye."

"I still don't see why you bought him." the silver haired man stated dryly.

"He was calling for me!" she said, the kitten meowed in response as well. "I feel as though he is a part of my life that has been missing!"

"That's great." Sephiroth said, trying to sound as though he had some interest in the new addition to the apartment.

"All of his things are downstairs in my car. His litter box, his litter, his food, his toys, and his bed." she said with a smile. "Could you go get them?"

Sephiroth did not reply, because he knew that Alette was not really asking him to get the kitten's new things, she was demanding it. When he came back up with the entire kitten junk he sat down on his futon, which was surprisingly dry.

"Oh! I didn't tell you what I named him, did I?" she asked as she began to rummage through the kitten's toys.

"I guess not."

"Cloud!" she said with a smile. The kitten meowed happily and purred. "He reminds me so much of Cloud."

"Is it the mentally retarded part or the blind part?"

Cloud hissed at Sephiroth and tried to claw him.

"Sephiroth!" Alette exclaimed. "Cloud is not mentally retarded. He is just a little challenged."

Just as the words escaped her lips, Cloud ran into the wall. Sephiroth tried not to laugh, and instead turned his head away from Alette so she couldn't tell.

"Well, you get to take care of Cloud tonight anyway." she said with a smile. "I am going out tonight."

Sephiroth choked on his laugh.

"What was that for?" she asked. "My mom is making me go out with this one guy. Apparently he's really into a lot of the same things that I am, but I doubt that."

She sighed as she pushed herself off of the ground. Her red hair fell in her face and for a moment, she did not seem like the silly girl that Sephiroth saw her as yesterday.

"Well..." she said, "I had better take a bath. Can you take care of Cloud tonight?"

"Like I have any choice." he said.

"Thanks."

Sephiroth glared at the baby kitten that was named Cloud and watched as Alette made her way into the bathroom. He could tell that something was wrong with her, but he was not going to be the first to ask.

"Meow." Cloud jumped on Sephiroth's lap and began to purr loudly. His disfigured left eye twitched, as he appeared to smile at the silver-haired man.

"Get off of me." Sephiroth growled. He pushed the kitten off his lap angrily, and crossed his arms over his chest.

A few seconds later, after Alette's bathwater stopped running, he picked up something that sounded like singing. His ears jolted at the sound, until he realized it was Alette.

"If I die and go to hell real soon, it will appear to me as this room. And for eternity I'd lay in bed, in my boxers, half stoned, with the pillow under my head."

'This is strange...' Sephiroth thought to himself. The kitten was rubbing himself against the bathroom door, as though he were enjoying the song.

"I'd be chatting on the interweb; maggots pray upon the living dead. I had no interest in the things she said. On the phone every day, I'll permanently hit the hay."

'I'm just gonna turn the TV on and pretend I never heard this...'

"I called her on the phone and she touched herself! She touched herself! She touched herself! I called her on the phone and she touched herself! I laughed myself to sleep!"

Sephiroth was permanently disturbed as she sang this part. He heard her getting out of the bathtub and the water going down the drain. He acted as though he weren't listening to her singing, and turned the TV on, but found that Alette's singing was too overbearing to ignore.

"At this rate, I'll be heading for electric chairs. I'm only human with my cross to bear, when she described her underwear I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old school. You're too young to be this empty girl I'll prepare you for a sick dark world! Know that you'll be my downfall. But I call and I call and I call."

The bathroom door opened at this point, and surprisingly, Alette was fully dressed in a little black dress that suited her well. Though Sephiroth did not believe she was slim, she actually had a decent figure. She was applying make-up as the steam from the bathtub poured out of the bathroom.

"I called her on the phone and she touched herself. She touched herself. She touched herself. I called her on the phone and she touched herself. I laughed myself to sleep."

She was completely oblivious to the fact that Sephiroth was sitting uncomfortably in her recliner, and not because he felt like it would swallow him any second. She involuntarily glanced out of the bathroom, and finally saw him.

"Oh!" she said. She seemed just as shocked as Sephiroth was. "I guess I forgot to mention that I sing when I take a bath..."

"..."

"Sorry about that." she murmured. She applied the last of her make-up and turned out the bathroom lights. Her hair was still damp, but it would dry by the time her date would arrive.

"Where are you going again?" he asked, trying to avoid the subject of her singing.

"On a date." she sighed. "I should be back in about two hours maximum. If I'm not, call 911."

Sephiroth was about to say something, but she had already left the apartment. He was noticing a trend in her.


	7. It's Deductible

_Disclaimer - I do not own FFVII so please please don't sue me; it would be hazardous to my health._

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I hope you all are excited for the latest chapter. I'll try to have the next chapter up ASAP. ;) **

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**CHAPTER 7: IT'S DEDUCTIBLE**

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Sephiroth sighed heavily as he made his way over to the futon. Cloud slowly followed behind him, meowing the whole way happily.

"Stupid cat, I don't even like cats. What the heck was Alette thinking when she got a-a-a" he felt his nose tickling his senses and before he could repress the urge, he sneezed loudly; scaring Cloud into what looked like a closet.

"The last time I sneezed was when I had to ride one of those ridiculous chocobos...," he murmured under his breath. He stalked his way to the door Cloud ran behind so he could capture the cat and try to murder it while Alette was away.

He opened the door and it creaked loudly. A lamp sitting on an end table dimly lit the room, and as Sephiroth glanced around, his eyes fixated on a contraption, he had never seen before in his life.

It was about four feet tall, and it had buttons all over it. Little did Sephiroth know that this was a treadmill. He stood on it and quirked his head to the left. He saw the numbers 1 through 10 on it, and stupidly pressed the number 8.

Just as he pressed the button, Sephiroth was flung against the wall hard. He heard a feeble meow coming from beside him and gritted his teeth to keep himself from groaning in pain. As the silver haired man pulled himself off the hard floor, Cloud brushed up against his legs happily.

"Get off of me you idiotic creature!" Sephiroth bellowed as he reached down for the cat. He grabbed the half-blind kitten by its neck and tossed it across the room. It meowed, surprised that Sephiroth would throw him, but then the meow turned into a growl.

Sephiroth dusted off his t-shirt - that had a picture of a spiky haired young man on it, of course - and felt a tickle at his nose again. Without warning, he sneezed equally as loudly as before. He took one last glance at the cat that caused him to sneeze, left the room, and shut Cloud in the room with glee.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid cat." he said, stomping his feet all the way to the living room. "Alette is crazy for getting a cat."

The silver haired man angrily sat down on the man-eating chair and flicked the TV on with the remote. A commercial for e-harmony was on TV and he could not comprehend it whatsoever. He waited anxiously as the commercial faded off the screen and a new one came on introducing Domino's Pizza.

Sephiroth's eyes grew wide and his taste buds twitched. He had never seen anything that looked so good as the pizza being advertised on the television. At the end of the commercial a scrawny man held up a telephone and sang, "Call us now and order yourself a pizza!" and said the appropriate number to call.

Sephiroth jumped off the chair and searched for the phone. He found it where it had always been and quickly punched in the numbers that he had heard on the television.

"Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza, how can I help you?" A bright voice asked.

"Umm...I want pizza." Sephiroth said dumbly.

"Okay, sir, what kind would you like?" the woman asked with equal enthusiasm.

"The kind that was on the TV."

"Okay, cheese, sausage, or pepperoni?"

"Can I have all of them?"

"Sure, three large pizzas, cheese, sausage, and pepperoni. Anything else for you tonight sir? Some soda?"

"Yeah, yeah. That sounds good." Sephiroth said as his mouth watered.

"Coke?"

"Yeah, that's good."

"Take out or delivery."

"Uh...Delivery?" he said as more of a question.

"The order is for Ms. Alette Baker?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Would you like for me to charge it to her credit?"

"Look lady. I really don't care. I just want my pizza!" he exclaimed into the telephone.

"Okay...so that's a charge to her credit then...Your pizza should be there in an hour!"

Click.

"An hour? I can't wait that long!" he whined. The sound of Cloud's meow from the room echoed silently in Sephiroth's ears. "What the hell am I gonna do with all of this time?"

...

Ding dong!

Sephiroth opened the door to be greeted by a man wearing a bright blue t-shirt. He grabbed the three cardboard boxes out of the man's hand and the plastic bottle that read 'Coke' as well and angrily slammed the door in the man's face.

"Finally." Sephiroth said as he opened one of the boxes; it was cheese pizza. He pulled a piece of pizza out of the box and happily sunk his teeth into it. "Wow, this is soooo good."

Two empty boxes of pizza and a half empty coke bottle later, Sephiroth was sprawled out on his futon and his six-pack seemed non-existent. He sighed with a look of satisfaction on his face as he heard keys outside of the door jingle. He could faintly hear the sound of Alette's voice outside of the door, but it was not like he had ever heard it before.

"Uh...so, I had a really good time tonight." the fire haired girl said softly.

Sephiroth gained a little interest and pushed himself up against the window to get a closer look of what exactly was going on.

Alette nervously shifted on her feet and tugged on the corners of her little black dress. She glanced down at a dark haired man; he was short and wore bug glasses that were falling off his nose.

"I had an excellent time with you tonight Alette." he said. His voice was nasally and he pulled out an inhaler and quickly used it. "C-c-can we do this again?"

"Ummm...yeah. Sure." she said. Her green eyes lacked the usual sparkle that they did when she was talking with Sephiroth about how she doesn't bathe. "Well, I -er- guess I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah." the geeky man said. He leaned in closely to Alette, as though he was expecting a kiss from her. Alette turned her head away, toward the door, and luckily, just as she did, Sephiroth had opened the door to greet her.

"Oh! Hey Sephiroth!" she exclaimed. She pushed herself past him and hid behind his tall stature to get away from her date. "Uh...Norbert, this is my -er- roommate...Sephiroth!"

"Oh. My. God." Norbert said. His mouth dropped and he screamed. He ran away from the apartment door without another word.

Alette slammed the door shut and sighed heavily as she walked past the tall silver haired man with ease. She found herself sitting in her comfortable chair with her legs wide open, regardless of the fact that she was wearing a short black dress.

"That was by far the worst date I have ever been on." she exhaled deeply as she lightly ran her fingers through her soft red hair. "I mean he barely knew how to have an intelligent conversation with me. You'd think that by looking like a nerd that he would at least sound like a nerd. Right? Am I right? Ughhh!"

Alette pushed herself off of the chair and ran into her bedroom. Sephiroth stared blankly as he felt completely uninformed as to what had gone on on Alette's 'date.' He lamely followed her to her bedroom and tried to open the door, but it was locked.

"Go away Sephiroth!" he heard her voice scream. He had heard something that he never had before. He heard her crying, and without saying anything to her, he turned away from the door.

'If this is how she wants to spend this year with me, then that's fine by me.' he thought to himself. He found himself sitting on the futon and once again heard the faint meow of Cloud.


	8. Tub of Lard

_Disclaimer - I do not own Final Fantasy VII so please don't sue me._

__**A/N: *Whistles inconspicuously* Erm, so it's been awhile...a long while...but I had found this chapter stored in the depths of my MacBook Pro & figured I should share it with the world. I don't know when I'll update with a chapter 9, but when I get inspired and attached to this story again, I will. I'm currently in the works on my first novel. :) Anyways, here is the long awaited, chapter 8!**

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**CHAPTER 8: TUB OF LARD**

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Sephiroth idly twidled his thumbs while watching DragonBall Z. He truly had come accustomed to watching the show every day for the past week, due to the fact that Alette never came out of her bedroom anymore. He sighed heavily, sure, he thought that he would love the fact that Alette wasn't bothering him, but he was kind of getting lonely without anyone except Cloud to communicate with.

'I almost feel bad for her...' he thought. He picked up the remote; DragonBall Z was off. 'I mean, she hasn't bathed in all of this time. It probably reeks in her bedroom.'

The silver haired man pushed himself off the futon and rummaged through the kitchen. The food supplies were getting low and he really wished Alette would do some shopping. He could not understand why she had locked herself up in her room for all of this time. As he picked up a can of green beans he opened another drawer that held the can opener, over the last few days Sephiroth had to teach himself how to operate the every day things that Alette had taken for granted.

He pried the top of the can open and poured the green beans into a big bowl. He pulled open another drawer and found a fork. To his dismay, he had yet to figure out how the microwave worked and was forced to eat his green beans raw.

Sephiroth found his way back to the futon and gingerly ate the green beans however; it's not as though there was much left in the apartment anyway. After a few moments of sitting on his futon in silence, he made himself comfortable and fell asleep on it, snoring happily.

Click.

The door to the firey haired girl's room unlocked and she peeked her glowing green eyes out cautiously. Alette's appearance was rather shabby as she tippy-toed out of her room quietly. She glanced down at the snoring Sephiroth and tried not to giggle at how loud he was.

'Sheesh, he could wake up the whole entire neighborhood with that nose.' She thought with a smirk. The smirk quickly left her features though when she remembered her purpose for leaving her room in the first place.

Alette crept into the kitchen and opened one of the pantry doors. She glanced around for some food and to her dismay, could not find anything that she was craving for at the moment. She sighed heavily, causing Sephiroth to skip a beat in his sleeping patterns.

The red haired girl froze in her footsteps. She made sure she was perfectly hidden behind the pantry and held her breath tight. The sound of Sephiroth shifting on the futon made her more nervous by the second and finally she heard him yawning.

'That was a short nap...' he thought to himself as he glanced at the clock. He had merely dozed off for about ten minutes. Glaring at the clock and his minimal sleep, the silver haired man pushed himself off of the futon. 'What was it that woke me? Was it that wretched cat?' he inquired himself.

Sephiroth made his way out of the living room and was just about to enter the kitchen, however, he felt something fluffy against his legs.

"Ha! I knew it was you!" he exclaimed and pointed at Cloud angrily. The disfigured cat merely meowed contently back at the angered man. Sephiroth growled at the cat and turned on his heel to face the kitchen.

"Hmmm...what can I eat?" he asked aloud. The kitchen was empty; the red headed girl that was there moments ago had disappeared into thin air. "I wish that silly woman would go get some food."

Sephiroth opened cabinet after cabinet and could not find a thing to eat. When he faced the last cabinet he held his breath. 'Please let there be something delicious in here...' he begged.

But when he opened the cabinet, he screamed. For, what he saw was not any food, but it was none other than Alette, the girl who had locked herself up in her room for the past week.

"What the heck are you doing in here!" he exclaimed.

"The last time that I checked this is my apartment!" she said back with anger.

Sephiroth glared her down and heard his stomach growl.

"You're the reason why I have no food in my apartment anymore. You tub of lard!"

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Doodoo head!"

"Hey! I don't even know what that means!"

Alette turned on her heel angrily and stormed off toward the bedroom. She came back out fully dressed and had a pair of granny shoes on.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sephiroth asked, still a little frisked from the argument.

"I'm going to go to the grocery store." she said.

"Smelling like that?"

"Hey! You take it back!"

Sephiroth snorted.

Alette shrugged her shoulders and had obviously gotten a good whiff of her underarms.

"Er..." she coughed. "Maybe I should put some deodorant on..."

After the firey haired girl had lathered herself in deodorant, she left the apartment, leaving the poor silver haired man awestruck at the previous conversation.

'Why does she always do this to me? After she's been locked up in that stinking room for the past week she comes out and just...leaves! Gah, this woman is going to drive me crazy if I have to live with her for any longer...'

Poof!

Sephiroth's ears quirked up and he slowly turned around. He blinked in surprise at the person who was standing right before him, it was the woman who had granted him reprieve from Hell.

"Sephiroth, he who is immortal and nothing can surpass, he who if one defies will suffer your wrath, he who is capable of taking down any military force, he who has the ability to clone himself, he who believes he is an angel and will rule the world," she paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing what she had came to say. "It seems that you have been living here with Alette Baker for the past month, am I correct?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"Well, by hearing your inner monologue it sounds as though you are wanting to leave?" she inquired, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders.

"No!" he retorted.

"If you really cannot tolerate her much longer, then I guess you can tolerate living in eternal flames..."

"No!" he reasoned. He begged the angel to take him seriously.

"Okay, I was just making certain." she stated. "But, remember, if ever you feel as though you do not want to continue living with the girl, then you can always be doomed to Hell."

"I-"

But before Sephiroth could say anything, the angel had disappeared


End file.
